Thursday, July 26, 2007

Project execution: Toilet

RFP from customer:I have this piece of land on the ECR road... and I have managed to build a small hut but with no electricity or sanitation. Need a proposal to meet my nature calls... i mean I need proposal to build a toilet...Mind that I hardly spend time out here (around an hour / month) and it is only for me (i come here alone)

Proposal from IT firm: We, Attagasam IT Solutions, are the best in market in providing toilet solutions. We provide a whole package and have 23 years of expertise in handling different types of toilets. That we are aware of the growing needs for toilets and keeping with the latest trends, we propose the following "complete package":
a) an A/C to keep the toilet-user 'cool'
b) a customizable toilet which can be expanded or shrinked based on user's size of butts and urgency
c) an option to change from western-style to bombay-style to sengal-style
d) a button to choose either paper / water for washing
e) a lever to choose the thickness of the paper if paper was chosen as the option
f) an eco-friendly recycling system to reuse both the water and the paper
g) a perfume spray mechanism to negate the smell of the burgers n pakkodas eaten that day
h) latest ipod system with Bose speakers to 'chill' the constipatinggggg user

The above world class total package shall be done at 1,00,000 $*
* - Any other facilities can be added on the request of the user, at additional cost.

Customer's reply:What??? 1,00,000$ for a toilet?
Attagaasam IT Solutions' Marketing Dept:Actually, you have a got a very good offer since we are designing these packages for multiple clients and everyone is full of praise. We also provide 24X7 support. And I can also get you a free add-on of "Car Parking" facility inside the toilet!
Customer:Car-parking inside toilet??? hmm, watvr. ok go ahead. Atleast, I can boast of the best toilet in the world.

{After hectic schedules, the project is over. Now, its time for UAT - User Acceptance testing}

Attagasam IT Solutions' Project Leader for Toilet Project:So, this is a demo to show the usage of the toilet... Here is the A/C. There is the paper-button, water-lever, iPOD, perfume spray, recycling system, blah blah blah....
Customer: so, can I use it now?
PL: Ya, but U shud get the water connection done...
Customer: What??? Why the hell should I pay for you 1,00,000$ then?
PL: Sorry, but I think you are new to this business... Anyway, we could 'assist' you for the same!

{Water connection is obtained; Customer inspects the facilities...}
--> the A/C has been fitted reverse that it blows cold air outside
--> the iPOD is fixed permanently on the wall that it can never be charged
-->

{Finally, frustrated, the customer looks for the toilet and he isnt able to find it}

Customer: where is the toilet?
PL: There it is {points to the wall}{The toilet has been fitted on the wall about 8 feet from the ground}
Customer: what??? why is the toilet on the wall? It needs to be on the floor? grrrhhhhhhh
PL: {Opens his laptop and points to some document...} See, the requirement doesnt state this. and you have signed off on the requirments... Still, that we would provide maintenance, we can always work out some kinda of stairs / elevator for you to use it with ease!

Toilet Project is contributing 25% of annual revenue for Attagaasam IT solutions every year!

7 comments:

sudha said...

hey dammm hilarious version of SDLC ...gudone..cant stop laughing :o))

ss said...

edey
amazing one.had me in splits.

Albert Einstein said...

Unmaya sollu.....Ithu unnoda real life experience thane. Except that instead of TOILET, it was some WEB BASED APPLICATION. I know what you did 6 years back.....

pooja said...

first time here and this one is really funny

pooja

smyLeMaKEr said...

@pooja

oooo R U?
neway, danx 4 the comment :-)

pooja said...

just a lurker
came through shubsids blog

Siva VG said...

Guyala! Namba lunch appo paesina kathiya ve inga pottiya! Suber machi!

Here is a Corollary:
Using toilet project as successful implementation, Attagasam solutions got a million dollar project for toilet with automatic FLUSH facility!
Now Attagasam solutions has a CoE developing TMS a complete suite of products containing a framework for 'Toilet Maintenace Services'. This suite is aiming at mobile southern, western, eastern, and northern toilets with automatic flush facility!
TMS has foll benefits:
) Butt- size independent
) Toilet paper independent
) Water independent
) Gender neutral
) Simple
) Robust
) Shit-oriented
) Encapsulated
............

The implementation TMS for a single toilet can be done in on a T&M with in the next 5 years.
On a turnkey basis in the 3 days at a cost that is 3 times for what it would cost for 5 yrs T&M!